The first thing I do when I get home the fridge. I spend a few moments staring inside it before I tell myself, No, you can't have anything. But occasionally, I give in and have ice cream, which is without a doubt my guiltiest pleasure. It's just wrong.

The last thing I do before bed is...listen to old-time radio shows, like Orson Welles's War of the World, on my iPod. When I'm listening to people talking, my mind rests, and eventually, I'm out.

When I need writing inspiration, I...observe people. I ride the subway, sit in a coffee shop. There's nothing funnier than real human behavior.

The main difference between L.A. and New York is...the types of rude people. I've lived in both places, and in L.A., you have territorial rudeness; when someone honks their horn, you're in their space. In New York, people are helping you out: They honk to say, "Hey, look where you're going!"

My biggest pet peeve is...people who ask me to tell them the shows I've worked on and then say they don't watch much TV. What was the point of asking me, then? It's okay—just say you haven't heard of my work!


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