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Average time between meeting at a party and million-dollar wedding: Six weeks.

Average time for celebrities to realize that their soul mate is their current co-star (and not the person they married): Six months after the million-dollar wedding.

Average length of Hollywood marriage: Inversely proportionate to the amount of press the couple does to tell the world how much they're in love.

Adjusted longevity of Hollywood marriages: Converted into human years, one year is equal to five years of an average couple's marriage.

Possible tipping point for many Hollywood divorces: Getting a tattoo of spouse's name, likeness, and/or "Property of…."