A quick pop quiz to ensure you've found a Prince Charming, not a Prince Harming!
Are you seeking your Prince Charming and getting lured in by Prince Harmings? A Prince Harming is a guy who turns out to be either trouble or troubled, although he never starts out this way. He lures you in with superficial lures like sexiness, funniness or wealth and then—WHACK!

In the same way there's "bait and switch" in advertising, Prince Harmings pull a "date and switch." I recognize the appeal of Prince Harming because I've been there, dated him. There's always something terrific you can find about a Prince Harming. Every jerk has his silver lining.

Admittedly, trying to differentiate between a Prince Harming and Prince Charming can be as daunting as those visual games in magazines where you're shown two almost-identical drawings, then challenged to identify what's different. Eventually, as you look closer, you'll see: "Ooh—unlike a Prince Charming, this prince has two faces, not one. Aha!"

Trust me. You don't want to date a two-faced prince. He'll be a royal pain in your heart.

In order to make sure you are able to quickly assess how many faces your prince is sporting, here are 10 of the 50 questions you should ask your prince and/or yourself, excerpted from my book Prince Harming Syndrome. If you want your prince to "pop the question," you must pop these questions up front.

1. Ask your Prince Crush if he feels he could live a happy life if he never got married. It will be a fun way to find out his views on marriage without being frighteningly direct.

2. Ask your Prince Crush if he has happily married friends or unhappily married friends. Again, this conversation will get him to reveal his views and readiness when it comes to marriage.

3. Ask your Prince Crush how he has grown in the last few years. Does he talk about how he'd like to grow in any specific areas?

4. Good looks fade. But a bad personality is forever. Does your partner titillate your mind as much as your body? Do you respect your partner's beliefs and knowledge and insights? Your ideal partner should feel lust, love and like for you and vice versa. A good royal coupling is a passionate best friendship.

5. Ask you Prince Crush if he feels partners should be honest about everything, and if not, what shouldn't they be honest about? Remember: It's relaxing to love someone you trust. Someone you know will not hide parts of his life and will happily offer up the truth, without you feeling as if you are yanking it out of him.

Karen says in order to be happy, you have to live happy
The opinions expressed by Oprah.com contributors are strictly their own.


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