Catch Up with Guests from Oprah & Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth
"I have found that apologizing when it's the right time helps me get back in alignment," Gwen said. "However, when I've been wronged by someone, I expect to hear that apology to help build the relationship and get it back to a positive way. ... When there's not closure and apologies don't come, I feel very uncomfortable. I'm beginning to wonder if this is my ego at play."
According to Eckhart, the ego keeps accounts and tracks what people owe us. In Gwen's case, it was telling her she was owed an apology. However, Eckhart saw this as an opportunity for her to observe the ego in action. Gwen needed to recognize her emotional/mental pattern and analyze her thoughts and how they affected her emotions. By being in a place to recognize the ego, she could begin diminishing its power.
"It's your ego's way of feeling superior," Oprah said. "And you're the one that goes and says, 'Well, I apologized, and you didn't.'"
Eckhart said Gwen also ran the risk of hanging on to resentment, which could develop into grievances over time.