Rabbi Shmuley, Carolyn and Oprah

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Rabbi Shmuley says Carolyn is an amazing woman but she has insisted on seeing herself as tragic. "She's a true hero in every sense of the word, but she didn't know it," he says. "We can't control when death visits us, when tragedy visits us—but we can control whether or not we invite it in to remain as a permanent fixture in our homes."

He says that Carolyn, in order to overcome her grief, must learn that happiness is a choice. "We're all waiting for something to happen outside to bring us happiness. If I win the lottery, you know, I'll be happy, or that big promotion I'm waiting for. ... We all think that in life there's action and reaction. There isn't—there's action, choice, reaction."