The change for Kelly came when she says she learned to view her father differently. "I actually learned to forgive my father after his death," she says. "More than that, I really learned to thank him for the entire experience. All that being the victim and placing the blame, I realized it wasn't working out, and in thanking him, I've found the perfection in every situation, and I've found the perfection in [my father], too."
Kelly says she can partially thank her father for her evolution even though her experience caused her misery. "I wouldn't have been seeking out this greater truth to life," she says. "I probably would have been very complaisant somewhere, but this for me is what works."
Cheryl says that even though feeling like a victim is often looked down upon, it is simply a step in a spiritual journey. "Very often, it's when we feel the most like a victim that we are on the precipice of a catalyst for change," she says. Some victims may get stuck, but the possibility of change is there for them when they are ready. "When you're feeling like a victim, you are so close to being able to step over the line and reclaim the spiritual power that you have," Cheryl says.
Although Martha says there are genuine victims, victimization has a boomerang effect. "The more victimized you were, the more powerful you become," she says.