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  • Try to work problems out collaboratively.
  • Value her advice.
  • Respect her capabilities.
  • Share more of what is going on in your life without burdening her.
  • If you are feeling unappreciated, explain to your daughter how you want your relationship to change.
  • Be clear in your intentions and continue to model the behavior you would like your daughter to emulate.
  • Agree to disagree when resolution doesn't seem imminent to maintain communication.
  • Accept that "mother doesn't always know best." Let her be.

Excerpted from Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship by Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer © 2009 by Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer. Excerpted by permission of The Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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