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  • Separate your own feelings when you interact with your daughter.
  • Support your daughter without attaching blame. For example, no matter what you feel about the end of your daughter's marriage, this is not the time to attach blame. Her ex may be less than likeable, but you don't want to jeopardize any further relationship, because they may get back together and/or he may be the father of your grandchildren.
  • Share your own feelings of disappointment with your spouse and/or friends.

Excerpted from Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship by Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer © 2009 by Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer. Excerpted by permission of The Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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