My big lightbulb moment on relationships came the first time I talked with marriage therapist Harville Hendrix
. He introduced me to his Imago Theory—in essence, he says it's not a coincidence that you've attracted your partner; that person is there to help you do the work of recovering from old wounds.
That show changed me. I saw relationships not solely as the kind of romantic pursuit our society celebrates but as a spiritual partnership that's meant to change how you see yourself and the world.