There's Finally an FDA-Approved Treatment for Cellulite, and We Tried It
On the big day, Francesca Fusco, MD, of New York City’s Wexler Dermatology, prescribed a Valium-Percoset cocktail that left me happily willing to have my tush photographed and my targeted dimples circled with a marker. Then Fusco whipped out the handheld Cellfina device, which has a "vacuum chamber" about the size of a petri dish and one sizable needle. She first applied suction to each dimple (it felt like someone unscrewing the lid of a pickle jar against my behind), then injected the area with numbing lidocaine. It hurt, but just a grimacing pain, not the suck-air-through-your-teeth kind. For the second part of the treatment, she once again suctioned each dimple before inserting the needle to do the actual tissue severing. I was so comfortably numb that I felt just a vibrating sensation; the accompanying mechanical whir reminded me of an electric carving knife. After just 20 minutes, it was over.
I crammed my flesh, along with my remaining dignity, into a compression garment (like a light girdle), which I’d be wearing for two weeks to minimize swelling. But even after the drugs wore off, I felt only mild tenderness. By that evening, I had a few bruises—mean ones, as if I’d been kicked by a farm animal—but did I already detect a certain...firmness? My husband and I contemplated my backside, as silently reverent as Kim and Kanye. Fusco had told me I might see an immediate “improvement” as a result of post-procedure swelling. It’s true: The next morning I once again had my unlovely lady lumps. Had I been cruelly tricked by the universe? No, I’m delighted to report: Now when I crane to inspect myself in the mirror, I see something decidedly smoother smiling back at me. Even if the glory isn’t forever, I’ve relished the chance to admire my rear end for once. I hope I’ll remember that glowing satisfaction long after it sags to my ankles. I consider that one giant leap—for this woman, anyway.
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