Clothes That Gotta Go
Viva Las Vegas
Desperately seeking sexiness? Painted-on pants, and a visible belly scream "trying too hard."
The Opposite of Sex
Dowdy jeans and a turtleneck are functional and forgettable: another reason to take good old Mom for granted.
From a miniskirt to cartoon tee and bedroom hair, this getup is more high school than high style.
Famous-label outfits that are rigidly coordinated, head to toe, are the fashion equivalent of a bad facelift.
The Golden Girl
Cheesy fabrics, shapeless cut, senior-citizen pastels—you might as well wear a sign saying "I'm too old to care."
Top 25 Items That Just Gotta Go!
No matter how attached you are to any of these pieces, it's time to part company because they make you look frumpy. Resist keeping them even for stay-around-the-house days. How fast can you get them out of your drawers and closets?
- Holiday sweaters with bells and appliqués (reindeers, teddy bears, bumblebees, pumpkins).
- Granny necklaces that tell how many grandchildren you have.
- Souvenir T-shirts.
- T-shirts with meant-to-be funny sayings.
- Acid-washed jeans.
- Ripped jeans.
- Shoulder pads.
- Flannel shirts.
- Photo handbags (the older you get, the more sophisticated your accessories should be).
- Flesh-colored hose.
- Penny loafers.
- Oversize blazers.
- Mommy robes.
- Thin gold chain necklaces.
- Elastic-waist pants.
- Granny undies.
- Baggy sweats.
- Bearlike, full-length fur coats.
- Short shorts.
- Cargo pants.
- Stockings with reinforced toes.
- Three-piece suits with vests.