The Grief of Bullycide
Bullying has changed indeed. "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" will never ring true again. As it turns out in life, skin and bones may heal quicker than emotional wounds. With so much violence on TV, in music and in the movies these days, we sometimes forget just how fragile we are—especially when we are young. And in today's world of mass media and so many new ways to communicate (the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, etc.), words have become even more important and more potent, and—unfortunately—more damaging than ever.
In school bullying, you are left with cries for help that never came; or worse, those cries for help that did come and were left unanswered. Grief casts a large shadow when it comes to bullying. The parents, the siblings, the bullies, the teachers and all the students will be forever changed. In grief, we want to find answers, we want to know our loved ones did not die needlessly. In teenage suicide bullying deaths, satisfying answers are few and far between. The grief that follows bullycide is as abundant as it is harsh. It is no wonder it divides schools and communities. Besides grieving for the young person who died, there are other losses to mourn as well:
• In a way, the bullies themselves lose life as they knew it, because they are now labeled as being "bad."
• The parents of the bullies also suffer a loss of sorts—their child is probably not who they thought he/she was, and their lives are forever changed.
• Most of the kids in the school often grieve on some level at what they did or didn’t do; they also must deal with a loss of innocence.
Why bullycide brings on a much more complicated grief