Feel Good About the Future
Okay, so women's lib is way imperfect: Women are still underpaid, still endure harassment, still get far too little credit for raising children—the hardest and most important work conceivable (pardon the pun). Even so, there has never been a time or place where it was easier to be female than in today's developed world. Women have gained more freedom in the past 50 years than in all of recorded history. That's especially good because as society empowers women, women are empowering society. The fact that the weaker sex is growing stronger may just save the world.
Yes, it's odd that my list leaps from an enormous social movement to a slug of caffeine dressed in heaps of fat and sugar. But when the big things fragment our energy and optimism, it's the little things that put us back together. Peaceful revolutionaries change the world by great effort and small comforts. Today, a mocha malt Frappuccino is my favorite splurge. What's yours?
Frappuccinos have special meaning to me, because I grew up in a religion that considers drinking a cup of coffee a sin. Pretty much everyone I knew as a child openly disapproves. Yet no one has ever tried to take away my coffee. That people can clash at the level of basic values but tolerate one another's differences gives me enormous hope for the future. For centuries, tolerance has slowly been gaining ground, absolutism losing it. To me that makes even these frightening times a bit less forbidding.
All right, I lucked out; I have a son with Down syndrome. If that weren't true, I may have squeamishly helped out at Special Olympics once or twice. As the mother of an athlete, however, I've had the privilege of sticking around this organization long enough to see countless small miracles. If you are ever tempted to give up on our sorry species, just volunteer with Special Olympics and catch a few miracles of your own.
Sitcoms range from high-quality entertainment to boring garbage. What I love is not the television programs themselves but the fact that people keep making them. In silly stories, we see our own foolishness pushed to ridiculous extremes. Without this ability to laugh at ourselves, we might be destroyed by our family conflicts, our lame deceptions, and our own stupid mistakes. The durability of the situation comedy tells me that we can forgive ourselves and one another for our inadequacies while acknowledging that there's lots of room to do better.
When I went to South Africa for a book tour, I didn't expect to fall desperately in love with an entire country. It's been one of those affairs that both breaks and heals your heart—sometimes wonderful, sometimes terrible, always unforgettable. At one point, I heard a limo driver unleash a stream of such vicious racism that I felt physically ill with shame, until I started discussing this experience with other South Africans of all races. Astonishingly, they met horrific prejudice with neither fear nor hatred but with deep, improbable, battle-scarred love and optimism. They refused to relinquish hope. If South Africans can still trust in the future and work toward peace and justice, how can I do less?
Dogs are my favorite role models. I want to work like a dog, doing what I was born to do with joy and purpose. I want to play like a dog, with total, jolly abandon. I want to love like a dog, with unabashed devotion and complete lack of concern about what people do for a living, how much money they have, or how much they weigh. The fact that we still live with dogs, even when we don't have to herd or hunt our dinner, gives me hope for humans and canines alike.
I lived in Asia during my early 20s. At the time, I didn't realize that studying Eastern languages and cultures was changing my worldview. Decades later, I see that millions of Americans are asking those same questions. Asian philosophical concepts have been filtering across the Pacific so long that they no longer sound nonsensical. Jews, Christians, Muslims, and atheists are learning yoga and meditation, dabbling in tai chi and feng shui. This blend of East and West is bringing out the best of both cultures, and I'm delighted to be watching it.
I hate the phrase life coaching. That said, the life-coaching movement has made me very happy indeed. Aside from giving me a profession, it has allowed me to witness the bravery, diligence, and idealism at the core of many, many amazing people. I suggest you discover this for yourself: Form a "life support" friendship group, or recruit your best friend to trade encouragement as you set and work toward goals. Nobody really needs a life coach, but God bless you if you get one—or become one.
Knee problems ended my running days long ago, but because I can put wheels on my feet, I still get the delight of exercising, being outdoors, relaxing my mind while my body moves. Rollerblades didn't exist when I was a child in the late Bronze Age, and I love how maneuverable they are compared to old-fashioned skates. I draw abundant hope from the fact that humans keep thinking up unprecedented ways to go places, to negotiate barriers and challenges, and to have a blast doing it.