"What Is the Absolute Least I Can Do to Improve This Situation?"

Illustration: Jen Troyer

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I know you usually dot every "i," cross every "t," knock the ball out of the park, yada yada. But on a hyperstress day, that ain't happening. Turn in the absolute minimum performance that enables you to survive—not thrive, just survive. Finish the one bit of work that absolutely, positively cannot wait. Wear enough clothing to keep from being arrested. Feed your children. If necessary, feed them pie (see "going to hell," above).