Ask Marianne Williamson: A New Way to View Marriage

Q: I loved what you wrote about fearing your own power. I feel this very strongly in my life now. My question is: If you really should be open to everyone and love everyone, how do you really choose who to be married to? Marriage always feels to me like a separation of people. Separating people into little segments of we, not us-everybody. If my spouse is a good person but I feel he doesn't bring the best out of me and therefore am uncomfortable in the relationship, is that wrong? Somehow I often feel if I focus on the good in everyone, I can bring out the best in every relationship. But I am always focusing on what is making me uncomfortable. How does this work? Am I supposed to work harder to allow myself to connect because ultimately we are all one? Or is it natural with the person I live that I want more than this simple connection?

— Bracha S., Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Dear Bracha,
Marriage, like everything else in the world, is holy or unholy depending on the purpose the mind ascribes to it. In the hands of the ego, marriage is a prison. It is exclusive. It is a place where people are constantly reminded of their failures and limited by the energies of another person. It is rife with judgment and blame.

In the hands of spirit, marriage is a liberating force. It is inclusive—preparing people to love the world more powerfully by teaching them to love one person most deeply. It is a place where people are constantly remind of the goodness within them and delivered to a sense of unlimited possibilities. It is a haven for forgiveness and love. Who you should marry, whether you marry, and whether you should stay within a marriage or leave it, is something that should be guided and directed by the spirit within you. Prayer and meditation are the keys to both discerning God's guidance and developing the strength to carry it out.

Marianne


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Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed author and lecturer who has published several books, including New York Times best-sellers A Return to Love and Everyday Grace. A popular guest on numerous television programs such as The Oprah Winfrey Show and ABC's Good Morning America, Marianne has lectured professionally since 1983. For more information, visit her official website.


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