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How to Be Happy, Dammit!

When you're a cynic, feeling negative can sometimes be easier than thinking happy thoughts. Get a new perspective with these 11 fresh ideas from Karen Salmansohn's book How to Be Happy, Dammit: A Cynic's Guide to Spiritual Happiness.
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You need balance, baby. It's called the weekend—and not the "weakened." It's not "he who dies with the most toys wins." It's "he who has the most time to play with his toys and the most fun playing with them who wins." In other words: all work and no play means a life of all ego and no spirit.

True success is not about making lots of moola so you can get yourself expensive toys for your ego—nor is it about getting yourself a cute, sexy person for your ego. True success is about satisfying your spirit with spirit things. For instance, your ego looks at a cute, sexy person and says, "Yum, yum. I want that person." But your spirit is smarter. It looks at loving, joyous couples and thinks, "Mmmm, I want that joy, that happiness, that love."

Your spirit wisely knows: it's not a mate's superficial qualities that ultimately make you happy, but the dynamic this mate and you have together—and the blissful feelings this mate can give you in your true (and eagle) heart. Which reminds you of a lesson you learned reading The Little Prince: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is most important is invisible to the eye." And with this in mind—and in heart—you decide to let this wise spirit of yours do all your life shopping.

And with this in mind—and heart—you also decide: next time a paramour's not gonzo, then you're gone-zo. Because you now know: a paramour without love is merely an empty container. And who wants an empty container? The container is not the sustainer. You must not confuse the bottle for the juice. The bottle might satisfy your ego, but only the juice can feed your heart.

Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Click for online information about this and other Random House, Inc books and authors.

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Published 11/06/2000
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