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Sometimes, a breakup leads to a breakdown and then a breakthrough—helping you to discover who and what you need to live your happiest, most fulfilling life!

I believe much of the pain of a breakup comes from having a life plan that you have fallen in love with. When it does not work out, you become angry that you now have to pursue a new life plan. But if you ever want to tame your inner demons, you must consciously choose not to become too attached to any particular life plan—and remain open to the idea that there might be an even better life plan for you. Embracing detachment as a way of life will always give you a healthier sense of peacefulness when you get plunked into one of life's potholes!

My personal definition for enlightenment is "the quiet acceptance of what is—and an open mind to embrace that there may be a better, healthier life plan for me."

After my breakup with my Prince Harming, I consciously chose to psyche myself up about my new life plan by owning the following as my empowering belief system: "I'm happy to be over this relationship with my now ex-Prince Harming because I know the lessons I'm choosing to learn are going to lead me into the arms of a much better life partner! My new, improved life plan is gonna beat the bupkes out of that old one!"


The questions to ask when getting over heartbreak
The opinions expressed by Oprah.com contributors are strictly their own.

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