3 Ways to Deal with the People Who Drive You Nuts
Rev. Ed Bacon, author of the new book
8 Habits of Love: Open Your Heart, Open Your Mind, offers tips to deal with your toughest relationships.
By the Rev. Ed Bacon
Start With Stillness
Before engaging with a difficult person, spend a few minutes trying to adopt a more receptive frame of mind. Go for a stroll, meditate, or breathe deeply to center yourself—you'll be less likely to blow up. If tempers do flare once you start talking, take a short break to regain perspective before approaching your nemesis again.
Give and You Shall Receive
Do the unexpected and give your foe a gift: your undivided attention. ask her open-ended questions; she'll feel heard and more inclined to consider what you have to say. Plus, research has shown that offering even a small act of kindness can boost oxytocin levels, meaning you'll likely feel better about your relationship for that reason alone.
Let it Go
Holding a grudge won't make a person change her behavior—you don't have that much power over someone else. To move on, repeat this mantra: "Her actions take up too much real estate in my brain. If I move them out, I can live freely."
Next: Why the ones we love make us crazy
From the
September 2012 issue of
O, The Oprah Magazine
