love is location

Illustration: Jen Troyer

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You might have learned this one before, when you were off in college in California and your high-school love was off in college in Maine. Sooner or later, somebody got lonely and fell for a more conveniently located mate. Long-distance adult romances have similar issues. Yes, you have a job, a car and a condo with a reasonable mortgage. So does he. But sooner or later, one of you is going to have to move if the two of you want things to work. Skype doesn't let you e-cuddle or e-go-to-the-movies (where you find out that you both crack up during the supposedly scary scenes). I'm not saying you should pick up and relocate two weeks into the relationship. But then again, two years can be too late. All of us fear being the ding-dong who gave up her whole life for some guy. But that guy probably fears the same thing. Nobody talks about it, but love requires bravery—and the kind of closeness that's not just in your minds.