"Oprah & Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth" Chapter 5 guest Ros Gardner

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Ros Gardner from Sydney, Australia
After losing her father six years ago, Ros wanted to ask Eckhart about honoring the memories of a loved one without adding to the pain-body. At times, she found herself crying over his death for no particular reason, even though she knew she couldn't change the past or bring him back.

"The tears just come," Ros said over the phone. "So am I adding to my pain-body by doing that? I feel I'm honoring my father's memory, but I'm sad at the time. So is that a negative emotion, or is that something deeper down inside that is a natural thing, and it's a part of my being?"

While Eckhart said there is a natural mourning that happens when a loved one passes away, for some people that might turn into the pain-body.

"For example, that would be the case if there's an excessive or exaggerated amount of sadness or depression," Eckhart said. "Some people, after a loved one dies, go through years of debilitating depression, or they develop even extreme anger. That is also quite frequent."

Eckhart thought that Ros' situation didn't seem to be a case of the pain-body being activated through the death of a loved one. He advised her to observe what her mind was doing—what kind of thoughts it was generating—when she went through these grieving periods in the future. Eckhart said it might be that her mind wasn't saying much and that she was only experiencing emotional sadness, which can be beautiful and natural.

Oprah added that after the loss of her dog Sophie, whom she considered a member of her family, she would find herself missing Sophie's physical presence. However, in many ways, Oprah said, she felt she had developed a stronger spiritual connection to her beloved dog only after her death.

"I always say, 'When somebody you love dies, you now have an angel you know,'" Oprah said. "You can call the angel formless or consciousness or being or whatever, but what happens is so many people are just caught up in the grief of it and the loss of it, and resisting and wanting it to be the way it was, trying to hold on to the way it was, instead of accepting what is, and they don't allow the grace of the formless to come through."

Find out how Ros is doing today...