The Gift of Forgiveness
"I can go back and tell you why I felt so inadequate and why I felt that my parents didn't love me, and I recognize so many of the errors now," Bart says. "There's a difference between an excuse and a reason, and I don't try to make excuses for what I did."
Bart says he believed his family loved an idealized version of himself that he could never live up to. "You can only go through that for so long before you start to bear a grudge against the people you think have set that high standard," he says.
Although Bart says he loved his brother, Kevin, he says he was envious of him at the same time. "He had so many of the qualities that I tried so hard for over the years," he says. "People just loved him always."
Over time, Bart says his thoughts about his family turned to hatred. "I wanted my life to be different, and however my thought process got there, I blame them for me," he says. "I blame them for me being in existence. I wanted revenge for being alive."