T.D. Jakes and Oprah agree that forgiveness is not to validate anything but the life of the victim.

T.D. Jakes: What we're saying to the victim is that the door is never open to escape until you forgive. When you forgive, they no longer hold you hostage. Anger is an umbilical cord that keeps you tied to the past. As long as you're angry about it, you're still tied to it and the person is still controlling you, even with your rage.

Oprah: The best definition of forgiveness I ever heard is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. I love that definition, because it doesn't mean that you then have to accept the person back into your life. Forgiveness does not mean I now want to have you over for dinner. It doesn't mean I want to associate with you. It just means I will no longer be tied to the past.

T.D. Jakes: That's what people don't realize. Forgiveness is not about exonerating them. Forgiveness is about empowering you. It's more about you than it is about them. Cut the cord that ties you to the past or you're going to lose your future.

Learn more from Bishop T.D. Jakes about sexual abuse and hear other women's stories.