4 Hilarious Lines From Amy Schumer's Memoir
On faking orgasm: "I just lie there in happy baby pose making it sound like I'm having a good time."
On how her mother's ban on junk food backfired: "I acted like an Amish kid on Rumspringa anytime I was near it.... I went full-metal-jacket crazy eating it all."
On being paparazzied while stand-up paddleboarding in Hawaii: "I didn't even recognize myself. I saw the shots in magazines and thought, 'Oh cool, Alfred Hitchcock is alive and loves water sports.'"