4 Hilarious Lines From Amy Schumer's Memoir
Choice bits from Amy Schumer's raunchy, revealing new memoir, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo (Gallery).
On what's expected of women: "[We're] always the ones who have to smooth over all the awkward moments in life with soul-crushing pleasantries. We are basically unpaid geishas."
On faking orgasm: "I just lie there in happy baby pose making it sound like I'm having a good time."
On how her mother's ban on junk food backfired: "I acted like an Amish kid on Rumspringa anytime I was near it.... I went full-metal-jacket crazy eating it all."
On being paparazzied while stand-up paddleboarding in Hawaii: "I didn't even recognize myself. I saw the shots in magazines and thought, 'Oh cool, Alfred Hitchcock is alive and loves water sports.'"
On faking orgasm: "I just lie there in happy baby pose making it sound like I'm having a good time."
On how her mother's ban on junk food backfired: "I acted like an Amish kid on Rumspringa anytime I was near it.... I went full-metal-jacket crazy eating it all."
On being paparazzied while stand-up paddleboarding in Hawaii: "I didn't even recognize myself. I saw the shots in magazines and thought, 'Oh cool, Alfred Hitchcock is alive and loves water sports.'"
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