Read an Excerpt of Life Code by Dr. Phil McGraw
A Behind-the-Scenes Introduction to the New "Life Code"
Even though this is the first page you are reading, I will confess to you that it is the last thing I am writing as I put this book together. I really couldn’t have done this introduction justice until the book was finished, because the writing of it has affected me in a meaningful way. To be candid, I usually feel tired and beat up after writing a book, but I don’t now. I feel energized and razor sharp about the subject matter. To say that I’m proud of this book would be an understatement. It has been written from a place of passion, determination, and concern. Given my profession and what I have dealt with every day for 35 years, I can unequivocally say I have seen the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of life. It’s in that “seeing” that I have gained what has, at times, been a painful wisdom that I seek to share in the following pages.
In this book, I intend to help you understand how the world really works and who you really are as you go about dealing with this real world. I don’t even want you to change who you are so much as I want to add to who you are—unless, of course, you are one of the people I am describing in Chapters 1, 2, and 3! I say that because in the first three chapters, you’re going to read about the people in your life who would just as soon cheat, exploit, and betray you as they would look at you. When you are done with that part of the book, those people will never be able to sneak up and “blindside” you ever again. Then, we shift gears in a big way, and you’re going to read about yourself and get an insider’s knowledge-based “Life Code” playbook on how to power up and win, and I mean win big, in your life, regardless of your encounters along the way with any of the “jerks” from the first part.
I want to share every part of the process with you because there’s a lot of value in how I developed these “New Rules.” When I decided to write about those people in this world who you wish would have never darkened your doorway, I started with my own personal life and experiences. I sat down at my desk at home on a Sunday afternoon and made a list of the people throughout the span of my life who, in my opinion, have sought to hurt me, betray me, and take advantage of me and those I love. Unfortunately, I had a pretty substantial list that spanned all the way from my childhood until this past Christmas! I was so consumed with the process that I forgot to eat, and for me, that is a serious omission!
Here is how I actually went about getting focused. I created a sheet on every single one of these jerks. (Some took several sheets to really capture the “essence” of who they were and what they had done or tried to do! I’m sure some of yours will too.) At the top, I described the scenario wherein they tried to jerk me around. Then, I did kind of an “autopsy” on what had happened in pretty good detail. I identified and listed what they had said and done when they had me in their sights. Hindsight truly is 20/20, so it was not hard to see. As I said, I had a whole set of lists, and I actually put them up on the office wall so I could pace back and forth as I looked for, studied, and added to commonalities. I even color-coded certain things with my little granddaughter Avery’s highlighters so I could see whether certain tactics, certain underhanded dealings, recurred from situation to situation.
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