4 Things Every Woman Needs to Do to Get the Support She Needs

You love being the one with all the answers and making everything look easy. The only area where you don't excel: asking for help. But no woman is an island, and sometimes you need support to take the next step.

Your assignment: Give yourself a break and let someone else help.

1. Embrace groupthink.

Lone Leaders may not ask for help because they don't trust that anyone else will do a good job. To see the value of a new perspective, try this: Pick a question below and come up with as many answers as you can. Then ask five or more people to answer and share their responses with you. Enjoy what's possible through collaboration.

• How and why is beauty necessary?

• How much discomfort will people tolerate, and why?

• What are the elements of a well-spent life?

2. Get an assist.

You may not want to ask for support because you don’t want to be any trouble—or look incompetent. Actually, people love helping because it's a way to build confidence and bond with others. When you’ve helped in the past, how did it make you feel?

3. Practice being imperfect.

What are a few small ways you could get used to accepting help? Could you ask a coworker to take something off your plate for just a week? Can you ask your young niece to recommend an app she loves? Can you consult a stylish friend for shoe advice?

4. Learn the art of asking.

• Explain why you're consulting this particular person; for instance, "I always admire how you handle

these things."

• Request what you need, clearly and succinctly: "Could you read my résumé and suggest ways to streamline it?" (Not "Here's my résumé. Maybe two pages is too long, I don't know...")

• Avoid phrases that sound meek or desperate: "I hesitate to ask, but..." or "If you happen to have a chance...."

• Avoid phrases that sound reluctant or arrogant: "I'm forced to ask..." or "I'd do it myself, but..."

• Don't forget to thank the helper. Often, eye contact and a sincerely said thank-you does the trick.

Now that you have a plan, keep up the momentum with SYPartners' next Life Course, Spark Your Motivation, at unstuck.com/motivate.

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