— Emily M., New York, New York
You're trying too damn hard. Intuition never responds to force. It can't be ordered up on the phone like pizza. It never strikes like thunder, which seems to be what you want: a decider who is never wrong. There is no decider except you. I suspect you created an imaginary friend that you named "Instinct," and as long as you could clutch your imaginary friend close to you, you felt safe.
Now you don't feel safe. That is really the issue, not the loss of intuition. The reason your imaginary friend went away is that you felt the need to grow up. Imaginary friends protect us as children. In your case, the defense wore out. You are tempted to immerse yourself in grief over your loss—not of the friend but of the childhood phase it represented. Adulthood clearly doesn't appeal to you. When you say "I can't" find a partner, move to a new city, etc., what you really mean is "I don't want to." Until you resolve this level of resistance in yourself, you won't accept growing up. The decisions you wish to make—or have made for you—are all adult decisions. I'm afraid there's no way around it. So look yourself in the eye and begin to explore why you are so afraid to let go of the past and accept the next stage of your personal growth.
Next question: What should I do if I lose myself whenever I'm in a relationship?
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Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
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