Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.
Q: Hi, I am dating a Chilean who just survived the earthquake and tsunami. I was supposed to be moving there in December 2010 to start a new life with him, but now obviously things are postponed. I fear he is suffering some kind of post-traumatic shock. I really want him and his family to come to the United States. How do I help him to cope since I live in the United States and he's there? I feel that he is somewhat distant but probably because of his recent survival of the catastrophe. Please advise!
— Stefanie C., Brighton, Massachusetts
I am not sure what you mean by "dating" someone who lives thousands of miles away, but I want to offer a helpful answer. As you probably know, there is no easy way to deal with massive trauma. Time is needed, along with patience and caring from other people close to the victim. Your boyfriend may have lost close relations or friends; he may not have been involved in the catastrophe, but participated from a safe distance. You don't mention these things—which make a huge difference—but here are some general comments.
Next question: Are enlightenment and happiness the same thing?
Every week, Deepak will be answering questions from readers just like you—ask your question now!
Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
The power of resilience
How to deal with trauma
Help traumatized children recover
Published on March 24, 2010