Do you aim to please? Do you spend time trying to placate others and avoid conflict? Dr. Robin says the problem with aiming to please is that, in the end, you cheat yourself out of meaningful relationships with other people. "The truth of matter is, if you are giving people something that is not authentically your truth, you are going to lose yourself—you are going to lose the opportunity to create real relationships."
Maybe you aim to please your partner, in-laws, children, co-workers or friends. Dr. Robin says when you change your opinions and feelings about people in order to agree with others, you are not living your best life. "All you are doing is changing form, trying to keep someone happy," Dr. Robin says.
While you may be worried abut losing the love or friendship of someone by being yourself, Dr. Robin says once you stop being a people pleaser, you will find a new, fresh, real you, and you will discover a life filled with meaningful and true relationships.
Published on March 22, 2007