What to Ask Before Marriage

Work Questions

Let's acknowledge that we live in an extremely status-oriented society, with emphasis placed on marrying a person with the "right" professional identity. How often have you heard people brag (or maybe you've bragged yourself) about a partner, saying, "He's a doctor" or "She's a model," as if status alone were enough to guarantee a good relationship. Unfortunately, you don't hear people bragging, "He's a kindergarten teacher" or "She's an administrative assistant at a not-for-profit organization in the Bronx." This is part of the problem. When we focus on status, we destroy any chance to live an authentic life with a partner who shares our values. These are the questions you really want answered:

• Are you working in your chosen profession?
• How many hours a week do you work?
• What is your dream job?
• What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
• What does your job entail? (For example: Do you often travel for business, work at home or perform dangerous tasks?)