Mackenzie Phillips recounts the first time she remembers being raped by her father.
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Mackenzie says she was 17 or 18 years old the first time she remembers being raped by her father. At that time, she was known to millions as the child star of the hit sitcom One Day at a Time, but no one—not even her closest friends—knew what she was dealing with.

When Mackenzie regained consciousness the next morning, she says she was alone in her hotel room. From that moment on, she began hiding from the painful memory.

"I started very early on in my life compartmentalizing, boxing away difficult memories. And this was the mother of all difficult experiences," she says. "It was one of those things where [you think]: 'Don't look. Don't look.' You tell yourself there's a video loop in your head of this event, this occurrence, this moment in time. I have spent the last 31 years trying not to look at it."

Soon after her rape, Mackenzie says she confronted her father. "I said, 'Look, we need to talk about how you raped me,'" she says. "And my dad said: 'Raped you? Don't you mean when we made love?' And, in that moment, I thought, 'Wow, I'm really on my own here.'"

Burdened with a dark secret, Mackenzie says she felt very alone.
FROM: Former Child Star Mackenzie Phillips' Stunning Revelations
Published on September 23, 2009

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