Most of us have experienced the devastation of a heart-wrenching breakup. Moving on from a hurtful split can be difficult work, but there are steps you can take to make the healing begin. According to Gary Neuman, author of Emotional Infidelity, these steps can help the process of healing begin.
Ask For Help
Now's the time to reach out to your friends and family. Don't be afraid to depend on others when you need it. Invite your sister over or take a walk with a friend—just be sure to get out of the house, eat well, and move. Doing so will get you to the next stage.
Use Your Time
In bad relationships, we often tend to fall into patterns of trying to fit into the relationship instead of considering what our own purpose might be. Now that you're out of the relationship, use the time to re-identify and reshape who you are. Use your emotional energy to ask some of the big questions: What do you want to be? What do you want to do? If you don't have an answer, think about your dreams and talents from childhood. Those early desires might reawaken something within!
Give To Others
Do something kind for other people. You might visit sick children in a hospital or help the homeless. Remember, as difficult as this time might be, your life is still valuable. There's a lot of important work to do, and a lot of people who you can help.
Create New Traditions
Use this time to get closer to the people you love, especially your children. Even if you need to be sad with them, you can come together to support each other. Try to create new traditions (like a regular movie night or volunteer time) with your family. Say to yourself, "In a year, I want to look back on this time and realize that I was changing my life for the better."
Educate Yourself Financially
A bad breakup affects emotions, but it also affects your finances. Go to the library and read books on managing your money. Feel secure so that you can create a financial future.
A Final Word
After a bad breakup, it's normal to experience feelings of sadness, loss, and anger. But if you feel yourself falling into despair, or you can't function, it may be time to speak with a counselor, minister, rabbi, or other trusted person.
Published on January 21, 2004
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