1) Resist the urge to explain yourself. As you alter the way you live, people will object to the changes. Think of a phrase that you can deliver without elaboration, like "I'm doing this because it makes me happy."

2) Spend time with someone who has a different worldview. He or she can offer fresh perspectives-which may inspire you to reevaluate your own routine and goals.

3) Make "alone dates" and guard them as if they're dates with your best friend. On my inaugural alone date, I went to the National Gallery of Canada. It was the first time in years I'd bought a ticket without purchasing an audio guide, too. John had always insisted on the earphones. To him, wandering was inefficient, but to me, following my whims could be revelatory-as, indeed, that afternoon it was: In the quiet of the gallery, surrounded by beauty and limitless time, I realized that my life felt truly my own.

Other Ways You Can Find Peace

• How to find the kind of joy that lasts
• A spiritual revelation: Oprah reveals her intentions for 2012
• What Oprah knows for sure about finding the fullest expression of yourself