What's the checklist on how to deal with conflict in your family...do you have [any] pointers for it? -Robin Meade, host of Ask Oprah's All Stars

DR. PHIL: I do. First, ask yourself: Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy? Because you have the right to do this. You do, you're part of the marriage. You're 50 percent of the couple, you have the absolute right to do this. Or do you wanna be happy? 'Cause you can't have both on this point.

Sometimes you gotta be the hero. The way I do this with Robin is always said, okay, on a 1 to 10, how big is this for you? And she says, "Well, it's a 9." And I say, "Well for me it's a 2." A 9 wins over a 2.

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