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Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, how do I know when my herpes is contagious, and how do I tell my partner that I have herpes?
Dr. Phil: Here's the thing, you know, when you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. And you have chosen some behaviors along the way that have gotten you infected with an STD.

You do have to tell your partner about this because you can't put somebody at risk without having a discussion about this and talking about it.

It's how you tell it can make a big difference. You don't wanna sit down and say, "Boy have I got something that's gonna freak you out." What you need to do is tell them calmly and say, "Look, look. I need to share something with you. I think we can manage it, I hope we can, but I wanna be responsible and tell you about this," and put it on the table before you have sex. You just have to do that cause you're not ever gonna be completely safe, Dr. Oz. True?

Dr. Oz: Not only is it regular sex, but oral sex is also a problem. And just to be real clear on the answer to your question, when you have ulcers, you are very, very contagious but you are still contagious when you don't have any ulcers at all. In fact, we estimate that at least two thirds of all virus transmissions happen when there are no ulcers present period.

I just wanna make sure that you're safe in what you do and I don't want you to think that you got a big Scarlet letter on your chest now, that you're not gonna be loved by anybody. But I think if you love the person you're with and they love you back, you've had that full conversation that Phil talked about, that you should always wear condoms Dr. Phil: And if you don't, you're gonna feel bad and guilty about it if you do inadvertently infect someone. I wouldn't do it in the heat of the moment. I would do it calmly just when you're walking down the street or you're sitting and having a conversation where you can say, "Look, I need to share something with you that a reality with me." And do your homework and know your facts and let them know that you can have a normal, healthy sexual relationship, but you just have to follow certain guidelines.
Published 11/11/2011