After 10 years of marriage, comedian Jerry Seinfeld and fellow funnyman Tom Papa, host of The Marriage Ref, have come up with their own marriage lingo. The definitions every couple needs to know.
"Kitchen sinking is when you're in an argument about one issue and your partner—your sparring partner, in this case—starts throwing everything in from every fight you ever had," Tom says. "You're fighting about something the dog's doing, and they bring up an old girlfriend from the '70s."
Going to the Archives
"Going to be archives is when they pull out the Raiders of the Lost Ark filing cabinet," Jerry says. "And they go: 'What about this folder? You know, when that happened. What about that?'"
Needle Across the Record Moment
"That's one of those moments when you're arguing, and we get this a lot when we watch the couples [on The Marriage Ref]," Tom says. "They're arguing, and all of a sudden, someone says something that's so outrageous, it freezes everybody in a six-block radius."
"One guy said: "Marriage should be like leasing a car. You should be able to give it back after five years,'" Jerry says. "You just go: 'Hold it. Hold it right there.'"
"A lot of people have secret identities. Costumes that are kept in closets that you don't find out until you're well into the marriage, and they come out and they go, 'I'm this guy now,'" Jerry says. "It's quite shocking to the spouse."
"You think you married an accountant, and they show up and they want to be a rap star," Tom says.
"At Least I'm Not the Most Horrible Thing You Can Think of" Defense
"I love this one," Tom says. "This is where you get into an argument, and you take them to the limit. ... [If she says], 'You should be here with us all the time,' or 'You should be having breakfast with us.' [And he responds], 'Well, at least I'm not going to the bar and sleeping with strippers.' Wait, what?"
Jerry Seinfeld and Tom Papa advise bickering couples