The Comeback

To get back on track, Dr. Robin asked each woman to compile a "Who Am I?" Journal. The important part of this exercise is that it forces one to look inside, rather than merely focusing on appearances and labels. "Not 'Mom,' not 'Christian,' not 'Buddhist,' not 'Jew,' not 'Muslim.' Not that stuff," Dr. Robin says. "Every night I want you writing something about what you're learning about who you are."

Dr. Robin says the biggest reason women let themselves go is that when trying to juggle the demands of family and career, their own needs just fall by the wayside. Taking care of everyone else, they put themselves last on their list. Even when there is time, they have little energy left to give.

The "Who Am I?" Journal should not be exclusively about your failures. While Nathalie's "Who Am I?" Journal includes 39 entries that "chip away" at her self-conceptions, she also includes a list of her successes. "That really helped me feel better and put in perspective that I have made some great decisions in my life," she says.