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Oprah: In what way?

Sidney: In what I expect and demand of them in terms of values. My children respect my values, and I can see some of those values in them. That pleases me, because my values are not constricting. They are human values. My kids are quite intelligent—all six of them.

Oprah: You've said that you want to keep growing. Is there anything else you want to do in your life?

Sidney: I would like to grow less afraid of dying. I am infinitely less afraid today than I was 15 or 25 years ago. I was most afraid of dying when I was 33, because I come from a Catholic family.

Oprah: And Jesus was crucified at 33?

Sidney: Yes.

Oprah: I went through that, too. You think, "If Jesus can die at 33, who am I?"

Sidney: Right.

Oprah: Would you prefer to be diagnosed with a long-term illness as opposed to passing on suddenly?

Sidney: I would like to die like my mother did. She was walking about the house, and she said to my sister, "Make me a cup of tea and bring it to me, I'm going to take a nap." It took my sister two or three minutes to get the tea, and when she walked into the bedroom, my mother was gone.

Oprah: How old was she?

Sidney: Sixty-eight. She was gone in three minutes, and that was a blessing. I hope I'm that deserving.

Oprah: We earn everything in our lives. Do you think we also earn our death?

Sidney: I won't speculate on that, because death is so sacred a state of being.

Oprah: I think it's interesting that you would have any fear about death, since you're not killing flies! Whatever happens, you'll get the best end of it.

Sidney: I'd like to meet my end with grace.

Oprah: And don't you know you will, since you've met everything else in your life with grace, Sidney?

Sidney: I shall certainly try my best to meet it with grace. There is always the element of anxiety about it, but that anxiety lessens over the years.

Oprah: It doesn't increase as you age?

Sidney: It decreases. If you are anxious about death, then you don't have a sense of the oneness of things—you feel that after death, you will be no more.

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From the October 2000 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
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