Martha says that although the fight-or-flight impulse has become ingrained in Wendie, she can retrain her brain to calm herself without the use of cigarettes. "It's really simple," Martha says. "It's about the way we tell ourselves the stories of our lives."
Martha says the stories that Wendie tells herself about walking away from her family are frightening and need to stop. "Your brain is in this rut where you're just telling yourself scary things over and over," she says.
To create more positive stories, Martha tells Wendie to think of three reasons why she doesn't need to walk away from her family. Wendie says her love for her family, her strength and her daughter benefiting from a family that stays together are her reasons. "As simple as it sounds, learning to tell slightly different stories about your own behavior is like turning an airplane," Martha says. "It's just a little bit at first, but over a year's time, you'll end up in a totally different place."