What do you do when nothing is going your way? Do you ask, "Why me?" or do you look for what your life is trying to tell you? How you choose to respond to the difficult things that happen to you can mean the difference between a life of anger…or joy.

Spiritual counselor Gary Zukav says that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is your spiritual growth. Find out what you can do when life takes a turn that just doesn't seem fair.

Get to the Heart of the Problem
Take responsibility for yourself and your life.

What Did You Do to Deserve This?
Feeling that you're a victim may be imprisoning you in your pain.

Shift the Way You See the World
Having a different outlook could take away the pain and change the course of your life.
Take Responsibility
According to Gary Zukav, how you choose to respond to difficult life circumstances is at the core of what life on Earth is about. You must take genuine responsibility for:
  • Who you are
  • What you do
  • What you contribute while you are here
Are You a Victim?
If you believe that life is unjust, you are declaring yourself to be a victim. A victim resists her life, rather than looking at it realistically and moving on from that point. Consider the possibility that everything that happens to you is an opportunity to expand into a fuller potential, and a more powerful and meaningful life.

Change Your Perception
Thinking of life as unfair is only one perception, and it is not necessarily the way your life is. Realize that while you cannot control the things that happen to you, you can control how you react to them.
Many of us tend to ask, "Why me?" when we are experiencing some pain in life and allow ourselves to become a prisoner of that pain.
  • Trust that there may be something meaningful, powerful and purposeful happening.
  • Declaring yourself as a victim may only perpetuate the experience and your pain.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Gary says, "The world around you does not deceive you. It does not lie to you. What you experience reflects a creative or created impulse within you.

"The question is not 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' There are not bad things and good things. There are consequences of choices made. There are effects of causes in which you participated.

"So if you look at your life and say, 'But I'm a positive person, why is it that these things are now happening to me?' Well, there's several ways to look at this. Number one is, if you were to wake up in your life today, you would still experience what you have created in the past. This is karma. Energy is energy, and you cannot escape it — and there's a good reason for that."
  • If you feel that the Universe is unfair, it will be unfair. No matter what happens to you, nothing is unfair. The Universe doesn't judge you, so why should you judge it?
  • When you blame others and view yourself as a victim, you create negative karma.
  • What you see in others is what you need to see in yourself. If you are surrounded by angry people, you are probably an angry person, too.
If you consider that there may be meaning in the disappointments of life and that the universe is compassionate and wise, you will be able to open yourself to authentic power—the real power within yourself.
  • Learn to control your negativity. Your life does not have to be unfair.
  • You need to put yourself in a place of surrender. Be open to the possibilities that can change your life—they may bring you a greater sense of joy and fulfillment.
Consider the "bad" event in your life as a wake-up call to truly appreciate your life as it was. Ask yourself, "What am I supposed to learn from this?" Once you surrender to your anger, you will find room for other things in your life.

Dealing with Pain
  • You should be gentle with yourself and realize that the pain may be part of your spiritual growth.
  • You should not judge another's pain.
  • Your perception of what is happening will determine your outlook on life.


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