In Tara Bennett-Goleman's book, Emotional Alchemy , she identifies 10 emotional styles that we all can identify. Your emotional style is your instinctive emotional reaction to situations. It's important to identify your emotional style, Tara adds, because it could be hurting your relationships, and ultimately keeping you from living your best life.

What's Your Emotional Style?
 Most people can identify with at least one of these emotional styles. Read each of the following groups of questions, and then begin to discover your own emotional style:
  1. Did you have a loss early in life that makes you fear losing people?

    Do you cling to people or push them away because you're afraid of losing them?

    In relationships, are you so obsessed with the fear you'll be left, that you push people away?
Your emotional style could be Abandonment.
 Read more about Abandonment.
  1. Do you find yourself irritated when someone keeps you from doing what you want?

    Do you feel that you are somehow special, and the rules don't apply to you?
Your emotional style could be Entitlement.
 Read more about Entitlement.
  1. Are you drawn to people who control you or make decisions for you?

    Do you feel guilty about having needs or wants of your own?

    Do you feel resentful when your needs or wishes aren't considered?
Your emotional style could be Subjugation.
 Read more about Subjugation.
  1. When you were young, were you made to feel that you didn't belong in some way?

    Do you tend to feel like an outsider in a group?

    Are you shy and self-conscious in social situations?
Your emotional style could be Exclusion.
Read more about Exclusion.
Published 01/25/2001

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