To help you set your personal boundaries and determine your true priorities, create what Lifestyle Makeover expert Cheryl Richardson calls the "Absolute Yes List." This list is about setting new priorities for yourself, using your time the way you really want.
Put your self-care above anything else—say no unless it's an absolute yes. Choose to spend your time and energy on things that bring you joy and make decisions based on what you want instead of what others want. If you don't set boundaries and take care of yourself, your health and well-being are at stake. And, if you are neglecting yourself, you aren't helping your family and others around you.
Ask yourself:
- What needs your attention at this time in your life?
Think in terms of the next 3 months, not the next year. What needs your attention: your marriage, financial, health, your physical and emotional heath? Maybe you need to find a babysitter to care for your child so you can have time for yourself each week. What are the most pressing areas right now?
More examples: spiritual well-being, time with friends, school, work, volunteering, finances, household chores, home repair.
- Once you've made your list above, pick the top five priorities.
- Does your list need to be reordered?
Cheryl recommends placing yourself at Number 1 Placing yourself at the top may be hard, but ask yourself, "How am I going to take care of others if I am burnt out?" Remember, this is about you. This Is Your Absolute Yes List.
Once your list is complete, print this out this worksheet and place it where you will see it throughout the day—the bathroom mirror, the dashboard of your car, your computer monitor, etc.
More on curing the disease to please:
- Don't be a doormat
- Set personal boundaries
- Your absolute yes list
- Learning to say no to others
Published 02/12/2010
