Photo: Lisa Noble Photography/Getty Image

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Get Them to Jean Machine
Machines can't fix the world. But they can make it more pleasant, despite the cat that ran away or the tax-audit letter that arrived. Which is why you must take your down-and-out friend directly to the Me-Ality scanner at your local mall or department store and shove them inside. In 10 seconds, the device will scan their body and spit out the name of a jean that will fit perfectly. How bad can life be once too-tight, too-baggy and too-depressing denim has been banished from you life?