How to Deal with the Narcissist in Your Life

The narcissistic friend is the one who can go out drinking with you, talk all night about her job and her boyfriend and her vacation plans, and never think to ask you about how you're doing.

It's often not necessary to toss aside a narcissistic friend if you're getting some satisfaction from the relationship. Like what? Invitations to good parties, funny stories, someone to go out and have drinks with. But it's best to do your socializing in larger groups or, if you do socialize with the narcissist alone, lower your expectations for the evening. Some narcissists—the ones with a low-grade case of narcissistic fever—might respond to a little good-natured teasing. When I lived on the second floor of an apartment building with a narcissistic friend who lived on the fourth, and we were making plans on the phone to go out for drinks, he said to me, "Okay, come get me on your way out." That's a statement that ought to come from the person on the lower floor, unless the person higher up is entirely self-absorbed and needs to be collected and squired. My response: "Um, are we going via roof helicopter?" It got a laugh, it made the point and I think our friendship inched ahead a little.