Michael: Very good. If you want to keep her memory alive, you take those qualities that you know her to be and you live those qualities every day in her name, in her memory. You become free-spirited. You become loving. You become grateful. All of those qualities that you know her to be, you anchor them in your own life in her memory so that whenever opportunities come up, you ask yourself, "Am I living the loving carefree—not carefree life, but a life that is free, that is allowing for these sacred qualities to come forward?" So instead of closing yourself up, you're opening yourself up in her name, in her nature, in her way. So she stays alive but through you.

Elizabeth: I think you're already much farther along than most people when they go into a loss like this because the way you asked the question, "How can I keep her memory alive and at the same time move on?" Just understanding that you know you can do both of them. Some people think that "I can never move on because if I do, I'll betray the love we had." And I sense you understand that you can do both.

Gene: She was—she did a lot on spirituality readings and how to improve herself, and I keep journals now of everything that I learned from her.

Michael: There you go. You're keeping her alive.

The Rev. Bacon: Gene, you're doing the right thing. I'm amazed. I think Michael and I went to the same seminary or something. I was going to say the very same things to you. It's tempting to try to keep someone alive through making shrines to them. And that's not, I think, what she would want. That's not how she wants to be kept alive. She wants you to move forward. But she—I think the way to keep people alive, and this is just repeating what Michael just said, is to—and I do this in every funeral I preach. I ask everyone in the church to simply stop and think about why they were attracted to the person who has just passed. And then I say, it is that quality or set of qualities now that you must bring forward because what you are attracted to you have inside you that wants to be brought to embodiment. It's potentiated, but it hasn't reached its fulfillment. So for you now to take the next steps in your becoming those qualities you were attracted to in her will free you and empower you to move forward without having to have shrines that hold you in the past.

Gene: Right.

Elizabeth: Does she speak to you? Do you dream about her and does she come and speak to you?

Gene: I do dream about her, but she hasn't come to speak to me yet.

Elizabeth: Mm-hmm. And what do you think if she did she'd tell you what she wants you to do?

Gene: To move on and remember me and to be happy.

Michael: Be happy. Yes.

Elizabeth: Yeah. And when you are ready to meet other people, you're going to want to make sure it's someone who will also—who will let you always keep her alive. She will always be in whatever relationship you go into, and you want to make sure that that's going to not seem unacceptable to someone. She's always going to be with you. You're never going to lose her.  

The Rev. Bacon: Because that's who you are. And you want someone to love you for all of who you are.

Oprah: And her name is Renee, right?

Gene: Correct. Renee.

Oprah: I'd just like to speak her name. Speak her name.

The Rev. Bacon: Right.

Oprah: Gene, thank you for that. Thank you.

Gene: Thank you.

Oprah: Thank you.

Elizabeth: Beautiful man.

Oprah: Caroline from New York is on the line. Caroline, hello.

Caroline: Hi. Hi, Oprah. I just want to first thank you so much for the series and everybody on the panel because I've been following and watching and listening for so long. So I just wanted to say thank you.

Oprah: Thank you.

Caroline: And I have a question. I wanted to know. It's actually for the whole panel including yourself, Oprah, what has been your biggest lesson so far and your big aha! moment or a new realization that you really feel has freed you significantly?

Oprah: Okay. We'll start with you, Lizzy.

Elizabeth: Well, I've had many over my life. In my book, Broken Open, I write about the moment in my life when who I thought I was came crashing down, and it was from that moment, which was my divorce, when everything that I thought I needed to be in my life no longer was. Married. I was suddenly a single mother. I had very unstable finances. Before that happened, I thought I needed all those things to be me. And after they were taken away from me and I really was brought to my knees is when I found out who I really was. My strength. My self. And I—I gained an indestructible optimism and a sense of who—who—something that could never be taken away from me because it was me. So I would have to say that my biggest spiritual experience wasn't some sort of illuminated marvelousness. It was my hardest time. It was when I was brought to my knees stripped of my—of my self-image so that my true self-image was revealed.

Michael: Powerful.

Oprah: Michael?

Michael: Yeah. Like Elizabeth, I could probably talk a lot about what opened me up. But I would say the theme would be self-love and appreciation. That I was always—it's always easy for me to give and to share, and I think my path over the years has been to receive and to accept and so there has been this chipping away at whatever wall was there, not good enough, not worthy, those began to disintegrate through spiritual practice and through acceptance and through revelation and realization until I got to the core of who I am, which is good. Which is wonderful. And not in an egocentric kind of way. Just what God has wrought here. So I would say that's my theme over the last 10, 15 years that now I can—I have that within me. I feel good about myself. I feel—I feel good about Michael. He's a good guy. His intentions are high. His motivation is pure. He may make mistakes, but his motivation is pure and his intention is high. So I like who he is. I like Michael. And so that's been chipping away at all the dark places until that—that emerged.


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