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3) Your Secret Why


What to write: Take a minute to think about the previous two exercises. Then, please finish this sentence; I'd like to really understand everything that led me to _______________.

Here are some examples (it's okay to add an additional sentence or two):

I'd like to really understand everything that led me to marry Blake. He was so wrong for me and I don't want to make another mistake.

I'd like to really understand everything that led me to choose architecture as my life's work. Did it have to do with the way we lived when I was growing up?

I'd like to really understand everything that led me to become such a good mom, considering I had no role model.

I'd like to really understand everything that led me to never get along with my step-mother. Now that she's gone I realize what a good person she was and how she tried to have a relationship with me.

Why it helps: There's no need to do the actual examination and investigation now. Instead, just focus on identifying what it is you might delve into someday—in a memoir or in the pages of a journal or just in your mind. What truth is important for you to get at? You have a structure (your three sentences), you have a crucial event (that may have caused or contributed to that life story) and now you have a purpose—a reason for writing that will let you learn, enjoy and even be surprised by the story you've been waiting to tell yourself and—maybe, just maybe, the world, as well.

Roberta Temes, PhD, is the author of How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days, which includes other exercises like these.

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