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The automatic assumption that "I'm not lovable" typifies this emotional style. Shame and humiliation, along with a feeling of being flawed, are this style's prominent emotions. Two patterns are seen in people who feel unlovable. Some give in to their deep feeling of unworthiness, while others hide behind arrogance, seeking public recognition and adulation.

People with this emotional style may find it hard to be genuine in a relationship. One thing you can do is challenge the thoughts that amplify your flaws. Mindfulness will help you learn to feel confident that those close to you know and love you as you are, and you will begin to heal.