I totally relate to what Dolgoff shares. I have to say, I'm far happier now as a plus-sized, pregnant, over-40 gal than as the skinny 20-something me who was constantly weighing myself and then weighing in with a harsh opinion if I didn't like the numbers on the scale. From this distance of time and maternity, I can now see how the more I used to worry about my sexiness, the more I was creating a self-fulfilling less-sexy prophecy—as well as a less-happy prophecy.

Together we need to do something more as a society to change unrealistic expectations for female thinness and beauty. And to do so, we need to start early on by telling young girls (and young boys!) that a girl is appealing and attractive not simply because of how she looks to the world, but how she looks at the world—her beliefs, values, passions, insights. A girl isn't simply beautiful for how fabulous her boobs and thighs are, but for all the fabulous things she does—and who she is! I can tell you now, I'm going to raise my soon-to-be son to view girls that way. Happily, I know my beau is the type of man who will enthusiastically send the same message.

Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.

More Reading from Karen Salmansohn:
Broken-hearted? Throw a divorce party
How to know and grow your potential
Ready to find love? Create a love teleology!
Are you a feminist or a feminine-ist?
Should you break up or make up?
Here's how to be happy, dammit!
Wanna lose weight? Go on a word diet!


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