1. Turn negativity into positive action.
Take one thing today that you feel negative about. Before the day is out, take one positive action that diminishes the negativity. Such actions include the following: standing up for yourself, speaking your truth, fixing what can be fixed, asking for help, seeking wise advice, walking away from things that can't be fixed, reducing the stress and looking at your role in creating the negative situation. But the possibilities are endless. Taking even a small action begins to change the feedback you're getting.

2. Get a healthy outside perspective.
In bad situations, people tend to contract and withdraw inside themselves. "It's my problem" leads to isolation, which makes lack and loss feel worse. I realize that no one wants to be a burden on others and that everyone wants to preserve his or her dignity. But other people have confronted lack and loss, survived the pain and eventually made it all the way through. It helps enormously to be in touch with someone who has walked in your shoes.

3. Don't indulge the level of futility.
"It's hopeless. I'm helpless. Nothing will change or ever get better." Everyone hears these words; the voice of futility persists because we were all little children who felt helpless and hopeless at times. If you indulge the voice of futility, it will pull you down to its level. So reject the temptation to indulge in a defeatist viewpoint (if you are depressed, which is a serious mental condition, seek professional help). Tell yourself, "This negative voice isn't me." Gently but firmly reject the voice of futility, and when any good thing happens, however small, remind yourself that the voice was wrong.

4. Expand your awareness.
The greatest enemy of abundance is contraction. When you find yourself in a tight situation, feeling that there is no way out, drawing a blank when you try to think of new solutions, or carrying around a heavy burden, these are signs of contraction, in mind, body and spirit. Expansion is the great friend of abundance. It brings in the light, opening up new possibilities. In a relaxed, open state, your awareness sees farther, and life isn't so confined.

How can you expand your awareness? To begin with, set aside time every day for peace and quiet. The brain has a natural mechanism for resetting itself and getting back into balance. Give this mechanism a chance. Being under pressure, putting up with noise and stress, and never stopping to relax are counterproductive. Go into a quiet place and sit with your eyes closed for a few minutes at least two times a day. Let yourself become centered again, and if you can, practice meditation.

5. Take full responsibility.
If you want a radical cure for being a victim, here it is. Victims are dominated by external forces—other people, circumstances—and since outside forces cannot be controlled, it seems natural to give up responsibility for the bad things in your life. "I can't help it" is like a poison seed that keeps multiplying and growing. The solution is to recognize that situations change only after a person quits looking outside and starts taking responsibility.

In effect, you are saying something positive: This is my life. You reclaim ownership of your life once you take responsibility. At the same time, you are stating a simple, inescapable truth. If your life isn't your own, whom else can it belong to? No one else has enough time, money, energy and love to give you everything. Abundance comes from within. When you take responsibility, you accept everything, the good and the bad, as your whole package.


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