We all know you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. But what do you do when you discover that your supposed Prince Charming is actually a Prince Harming? Karen Salmansohn knows all too well.
I can empathize fully with Sandra Bullock's pain right now—been there, fallen for him. Unfortunately, I found myself very much duped by a man who convincingly presented himself as loving, committed and loyal, only to later to discover that he was more than a two-timing cheater—he was a three-'n-four-'n-five-timing cheater.

I know just how difficult it can be to pick yourself up after a painful romantic fall. At first, you might find yourself preoccupied with a bubbling stew of emotions: depression, shame, hopelessness, outrage, despair, rage, resentment, negativity, doubt, insecurity, fear and an overall sense of emotional hypochondria. You may become convinced that the best way to protect your breaking heart is to put on the permanent love brakes. It's very important not to allow yourself to wallow in these negative emotions for too long.

I believe you can never fail in life or love. You just produce results. It's up to you how you interpret those results. There are no failed relationships, because every person in your life has a life lesson to teach.

Ironically, life's worst of times (aka breakups) can be exactly what leads you to your best of times—pain is your evolutionary buddy. Pain prompts you to wake up from your auto-pilot slumbers—and CLUNK—finally be more alert to seeing who are the best people and which are the best circumstances to aim at for ultimate joy.


How can the worst of times turn into the best of times?
The opinions expressed by Oprah.com contributors are strictly their own.

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