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End the phony I-statements.
Many of us know about the value of an "I-statement," a technique that requires you to talk about your feelings instead of your partner's behavior. For example, if your partner is frequently late, instead of saying to him, "You're always late. It's so rude," you might say, "It's more difficult for me when you're late because I don't know how to plan the dinner." This way, you can talk about the issue without attacking him. But be warned: Not all statements that begin with the word "I" are I-statements. Tacking on an "I think" does not necessarily mean you are talking about yourself. Avoid comments like "I think you're controlling," or "I think you're treating me like your domineering mother." That is, unless you want to start a big fight.